The MotherVerse Blog: mothering out loud

The Green King
by Desire` Aguirre
The grass reminds me of Nik. So many shades grow at different lengths in different directions. And he is not here to grudgingly mow the lawn. When will these growths of grief get cut?
Nik was arrested a week before his 14th birthday for breaking into a car and stealing a cell […]

I got the honors this year and cut down the Christmas tree. I picked out a medium sized one that struggled beneath the branch of an old cedar, never seeing the sun or stars. It didn’t weigh much, and it cut a smooth trail on the snow.
My daughter, 19, arrived with a gaggle of giggly […]

Last night, I received another one of those late night calls from the police. Not the earth shattering kind (the car flipped over numerous times, ejecting him through the windshield), but the nagging type, the what’s the dumbshit done this time type.
And I left him in jail where he will probably have to spend a […]

My mom is big into family tradition. When we were little, Mom would gather her three toe-heads and drive to China Town in San Fransisco the day after Thanksgiving so we could buy inexpensive Christmas gifts for our family and friends.
She decided to carry our tradition on here in Idaho. The day after Thanksgiving, we’d […]

Jamie sits on my lap, drooling. When Nik brought her home in his backpack, she was a tiny meow in a fluff of white and gray fur. She could squeeze herself under the crack in the bathroom door.
She has watched Nik grow into a young man. He supplies her with wild catnip that grows in […]

He doesn’t come to me in my dreams. Sometimes, I see him in our children’s eyes. Niko has his big hands, and DaNae thrives on hugs, just like he did.
He’d say, “He baby, how’s it going?” with a crooked smile.
I didn’t know he didn’t have any teeth until well after our first kiss. His eyes […]

My turbulent teenage years, filtered through a haze of sex, drugs and alcohol, left scars that have healed over the years. I remember an English class where we had to keep a journal, and I marked all my torpid teen poetry with a large “DON’T READ.”
My love of the written word never abandoned me, […]

The silence sits on my shoulder like a shawl, but it does not keep me warm. Cholo, my son’s black mutt, lies by my feet, and Jamie the cat slowly sneaks onto my lap. Her purrs come out like a muffled accordion.
The teenagers, out in the night, left me here to my own devices. I […]

This is a short story about my once upon a time 7-year-old son (now 17). Where has all the time gone?
Jesse came home from school, blue eyes sparkling fierce against brown skin, and announced, “I have a girlfriend.”
I almost fell out of my chair; Jesse, the seven-year-old captain of the he-man women’s hater club had […]

The Center for Disease Control estimates that 70 million Americans suffer from some form of arthritis or chronic joint problems. More than 20 million people have osteoarthritis; that number is predicted to double in the next 20 years as the baby boom generation blossoms into seniority. The total cost of arthritis in the United States, […]