The MotherVerse Blog: mothering out loud

One benefit of having been consumed by kids for years and being out-of-touch with pop culture is that when I finally got clued in—as I just have to the Twilight series of vampire novels by Stephenie Meyer—I didn’t have to wait for the next book, or for the movie release, etc. All things Twilight are available and ready for this latecomer’s delight. (The same thing happened to me with Harry Potter. When he first arrived I was crazed by a demanding job and then overwhelmed by babies. I didn’t have the time or brain cells for reading long books.)

If, like me, you are essentially a Twilight virgin, here’s a quick introduction: The books are about the relationship of teenage vampire Edward Cullen and Bella Swan, the very human object of his affection and desperate desire. Seventeen-year-old Edward (who’s really about 100 years old) and his vampire family are “vegetarians.” (Although they crave human blood, they believe it’s wrong to kill people and instead feed off the blood of animals.) Edward, who hasn’t had a girlfriend in his entire life, falls hard for Bella, an actual 17-year-old girl and classmate at the high school he attends. The four books—Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn—follow the travails of their forbidden, passionate, yet essentially chaste, love.

(Note: I tried to upload an image from the movie, so you can see the characters, but I can’t get it to work. Readers/Bloggers: Feel free to add a picture if you know how to.)

The books were written for teenagers, specifically teenage girls. But as I’ve learned from my friends, and experienced myself over the past four weeks, “moms” like me have fallen obsessively in love with Edward Cullen.

My friend Erin, a 44-year-old stay-at-home mother of five, has had fights with her preteen and teenage daughters over the books they share. (“It’s my turn to read it!”) Erin bought advanced tickets to the movie and, after convincing me to read the first novel, was my enthusiastic date and a repeat moviegoer the night I finally went to see Twilight.

Beth, a thirtysomething stay-at-home mother of two small children, saw the movie twice in 24 hours, having long before fallen in love with the books—and Edward. (If you have time, check out Beth’s super blog at www.totalmomhaircut.com and read her Twilight and other entries.)

My ob/gyn even confessed to reading all of the books and having a girls-only movie night with her sister when the film debuted.

In the past month I’ve read all four books and seen the movie. Now I’m revisiting parts of the first novel. My husband looks at me in disbelief as I come to bed at midnight and then stay up until as late as 2 a.m. reading and (now) rereading the books.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asks. “It’s like you’re in love with a fictional character.”

My response: “He’s just such a good boyfriend.”

Although Edward Cullen could easily be described as an obsessive, controlling boyfriend, Bella doesn’t feels that way about him. (And because she doesn’t, I don’t either.) Edward loves Bella enormously and protects her constantly. He’s smart, thoughtful, well-mannered, devoted and, despite her pleading that they go all the way, he won’t because he’s afraid he might hurt her. (And, as it’s later revealed, he’s fearful of premarital sex.)

Edward might get some of his morality from his creator, author Stephenie Meyer, a stay-at-home Mormon mom of three sons. (But in reality, how accepted and successful would a book series for teenagers be if the main character was having wild sex with a vampire? The kids might like it but parents would howl.) In a way, Meyer has created the boyfriend we’d wish for our daughters and the gentlemanly son we’d be proud to call our own—even if we’d jump right into the sack with this awesomely handsome vampire ourselves. (In the movie, Edward is played by the strikingly beautiful British actor Robert Pattinson, formerly Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.)

The other connection the book likely makes for many us older gals is that it takes us back to when we were 17, or whatever younger-than-now age we were when we had obsessive crushes, when the cute guy we watched from afar actually spoke to us (or didn’t), when we first fell for someone who felt the same about us.

Erin, who has read the books multiple times and has seen the Twilight movie twice, has taken to searching the Internet for scenes from the film and video clips created by fans. Like Beth, she’s trying to not pay for another movie ticket and instead hold out until the DVD is for sale.

I’m working on putting the books (and Edward?!) aside and getting back to my life and the reading I need to do (for work, for my book group). I’m having limited success.

Have you read the books? Seen the movie? Are you similarly smitten? Or, since we’re taking vampires here, have you been similarly bitten?

P.S. A thank you to fellow MotherVerse blogger Kris Underwood for putting me on the cover of Mom Writer’s Literary Magazine, a publication she helps write and edit. Kris wrote about that issue in earlier posts on this blog. Thanks, too, to MotherVerse editor Melanie Mayo-Laakso, for publishing my essay, “Mourning My Belly,” last spring. The article, a personal essay about my post-twins body, led to an assignment for a larger, reported piece that appears in the current issue of Brain,Child magazine, the editors of which asked me to write about the “Mom Job” trend in which plastic surgeons are marketing boob jobs, tummy tucks and liposuction to post-partum women.

I’m very appreciative of all three of these independent magazines for smart mothers. Although, for all of our sakes, I wish these intelligent journals had the circulation and advertising support of the more generic, “traditional” (I don’t want to name names) parenting and women’s magazines that continue to rule the roost.

“I do it, Mommy!” ordered my independent toddler.

“Ok, ok.” I replied.

After my short tempered red-headed 2-year old finished putting on her Christmas tights from Grandma she took one look at me and b-lined it for the living room. Too late for a reaction and a gentle tackle, I allowed her to have one last jaunt around the kitchen before I dressed her in green taffeta and polka dots for her trip to see Santa at the local mall.

She knows of this man with a beard and black leather gloves. She knows that she can tell him what she wants for Christmas. She knows she is supposed to sit pretty on his lap and pose for pictures, but does she really know who Santa is. I guess as parents we try and create mystery and build excitement all December long. We hide stuffed horses under our beds and in closets in order to build anticipation for Christmas morning.  We hang twinkle lights on evergreens and dangle ornaments made of clothespins and cotton balls from their branches.   Building traditions for our children is what we do as parents.  We remember how we spent Christmas as kids and mirror only our good memories and create some new ones of our own. 

I took this day off work only to avoid the mall crowd and to spend some much needed undivided time with my baby girl. As I expected, there was a light crowd with the usual mall walkers and stay-at-home mom’s. When I found the temporary throne Santa was perched on, we walked hand-in-hand through the windy man-made maze to the front of the line. My plan worked perfectly. We were third in line squeezed in between two families. Yep, I said families. What a dichotomy. One single mama and her toddler forced to witness the most idealistic Christmas traditions; two-parent families visiting Santa, together.

Behind us, mom was busy brushing her daughter’s hair to prep it for a pony tail and bow, while dad (might I add, tall, dark and handsome) cared for the newborn nestled in his Graco car seat dressed head to tow in a red sleeper with bells on the tips of his toes.    In front of me, was a young mom and her 3 year old little boy. We smiled at each other and she commented on G’s beautiful Christmas dress. I politely said thank you and so did G. But Before I knew it, her husband greeted both of them with a Strawberry Jamba juice and a kiss. I slid my left hand discreetly in the pocket of my jeans and inched forward in line.

I am so newly divorced, hurt and somewhat ashamed, I still long for the mom, dad and child façade.  I do not miss the relationship my ex and I had towards the end; I miss the family that we created. The decision that we both made together to start a family and build traditions of our own.

We made it to the front of the line after a few day dreams and awkward glances. I needed to focus. I needed to erase the old memories of Christmas past and start new ones of my own.  Starting with the real reason why I am standing in line to see Santa.

I could see the anticipation and excitement screaming out of her eyes as I wiped her runny nose and tightened her red hair tie.

“Are you ready to tell Santa what you want for Christmas?” I asked.

“Ah, huh,” She answered quietly. I could tell she was nervous.

One of Santa’s elves’ approached us and motioned towards my daughter. Without hesitation, my lady jogged towards Kris Kringle and, literally, hopped onto his knee. I was prepared to pose with her so she would stop crying, or pay for a tear filled Santa picture, but it happened to be the exact opposite. 

I stood back behind the camera and witnessed my only child fill Santa in on what she wanted for Christmas, a puppy. This is funny to me because we own a pure bread, 70 pound Boxer named Sonny.  Apparently, he isn’t fulfilling her canine needs at the moment.  She carried on her conversation with Santa like she has known him for years. She asked to touch his beard and looked fiercely into the camera.  Strange as it is, I was proud. She didn’t cry, run away or refuse to sit atop his knee. In fact, she made some demands and I even got a good picture.

I paid for my over priced digital photo and walked away from the first holiday memory we created together as a new family.

Merry Christmas from my family to yours.

It’s time to make something up!

For all of you beautiful liars out there- Hip Mama is gonna be breaking some fresh ground and doing a Short Story Contest judged by Kerlin Richter and Ariel Gore.

First Prize is $100, your Short Story as the feature in issue 44, the Creativity issue, along with a profile and picture of your brilliant self, AND a Lifetime Subscription to Hip Mama (we don’t even sell lifetime subscriptions anymore).

Ten runners up will get a four issue subscription, their names and story titles in the zine and their full stories will be published online.
what about?

Write any short story you want. Just make sure there is a Mama in there somewhere. It can be any genre, any style, from any ol’ point of view. The only rule for content is:

THERE MUST BE A MAMA IN THE STORY.
how long?

Keep it under 2500 words.

where to?

The best way is to attach your story as a word document and e-mail it to hipmamazine@gmail.com.   In the subject line  write ‘Short Story Submission’ and your name.

or

Mail it old school to P.O Box 12525, Portland OR 97212.
how much?

$25 per story entry fee, or splurge and for $60 and I will mail back your story with comments.

You can pay the at hipmamashop.com. Make sure to include your receipt number in your e-mail. Or, mail a check payable to Hip Mama with your entry.

by when?

Deadline for Entries is April 1st 2009.

Comments will be mailed to you by May 30th.

My final show of the year 2008 has come and gone. All the excitement, anxiety and stress are over with, at least until the next show in early spring!  It’s been an interesting year in the art world. With the economy struggling, it’s been difficult for many artists to make a living. But it is also an exciting time. Change is in the air! Who knows what next year will bring? I am choosing to stay optimistic. Regardless of what will happen in this world I will never stop creating. It is part of me and always will be!

“There’s no retirement for an artist, it’s your way of living so there’s no end to it.”

Henry Moore

It’s a bit of old news, but the location of the BlogHer ‘09 Conference has been announced and is in CHICAGO. Check out all the details here.

This year’s theme is ‘In Real Life’.

I would LOVE to go! We’ll see!

update: The ad on the Motrin site has been taken down. You can still view it on You Tube.

So, everybody’s talking about the Motrin Babywearing commercial.

Crunchy Domestic Goddess posted something on it

The Motheringdotcommune boards are alive with commentary about it

There’s a group on Facebook on the subject

Then, there is the Twitter response on YouTube (thanks to Katja Presnal)

Check out the video at the above link or go to my site.

Motrin will surely be getting a huge amount of publicity with this advertisement, even if it is extremely negative. My question is, Will it hurt or actually benefit the company in some way?

And, of course, I put my two cents in over at The Imperfect Blog. Be sure to check it out!

cross posted at Writing In The Mountains

While perusing the web, I came across Mothering Magazine’s Mothering Media, in which they present a bimonthly Mothering Webinar.

The next one focuses on affordable, natural toys and is happening December 2 at 3 p.m. Eastern. Scroll down for more info.

let’s play!: an a to z guide to natural toys
Tuesday, December 2
3 PM ET

The holidays are here. Given today’s economy and the demand for toxic-free toys, parents are on the lookout for affordable, natural toys. Let Mothering help you choose the safest, highest quality gifts for your family that won’t break the bank.

Mothering’s own product reviewer and writer of the Annual Toy Review, Candace Walsh, will help you find toys under $20. She’ll also answer the question, “When is ‘Made in China’ OK?” Candace has been reviewing products for over more than ten years. If there is anyone who knows natural toy companies, it is she.

Meanwhile, Mothering expert Mindy Pennybacker will discuss toxin-free toy options for your kids. Mindy is a senior editor at Plenty magazine, founder of Grennerpenny.com, and editor for The Green Guide.

Finally, mama crafter Amber Dusick will take the scariness out of scroll saw wooden toy-making and discuss natural paint options. Amber founded MakeBabyStuff.com as a way to teach and share baby-related DIY projects. She is a craft-at-home mama and sells handmade wooden toys on Etsy.com. Amber has been known to say, “If someone else can make it, so can I—and here is how you can, too!”

Space is limited, so REGISTER NOW.

Here is so0mething that I remembered from long ago.

It used to be, when I had my first baby, that I could call my mother every time the baby made a sound and ask her what to do.  I knew my daughter would not be able to do that because I was deep into my career and not always available.

When I first found out that my first grandchild was going to be born I deceided to make a baby book of my own advice.

I included in this book not only my own advice but I cut out of magazines  and newspapers everything that I could find. that I thought was of any importance.

I went a little further when I saw that their was a lot of advice on what to do on rainy days, how to make halloween masks, receipes that children would enjoy making , how to teach them to match clothes when they were toddlers, etc.

Patti said that she used the book a lot. and it is well worn.  She returrned it to me and I am going to pass it on to my grand daughter Debra (when the time comes).  Patti said that she knew it was good advice because her mother gave it to her.
I put a lot of pictures in it too.  I cut them out with the articles.

If you are expecting your first baby ask your mom to make you a book.  She will enjoy  making it and you will enjoy using it.

This issue features interviews with Melissa Stanton, Andi Silverman and Shari MacDonald

With

Reviews of The Memory Keeper’s Daughter, National Security Mom and The Wednesday Sisters

Plus

All of the regular columns, poetry and resources!

If you like what you see, please consider subscribing!